For many of us we have been waiting anxiously for the first episode of Jada Pinkett Smith Exclusive Facebook Series “Red Table Talk.” A show hosted by 3 generations of perspective. Jada, Her Mother Adrienne, and daughter Willow. All in varying phases of life which means differences of opinion and outlook.
The first Episode Jada reveals a conversation held with Sheree Fletcher, about their experiences as a blended family. Sheree being the first wife of Will Smith and having a son Trey and Jada being an addition to this now blended family, They felt it was important to share their journey with both challenges, mistakes and acknowledgment with other mothers who are apart of a blended family.
I love the term they used for Jada’s Role in Trey’s life, “Bonus Mom.” To me this shows that a woman has a measure of influence in a child’s life, while still respecting the fact that the child has a birth mother in their life and there are boundaries.
Having my own blended family, being somewhat of a Bonus Mom, I could see myself in some of what Jada is saying. Our oldest was not nearly as young when I came into the picture, and I can honestly say because she was a young adult, there wasn’t much raising to do. Admittedly, there was some letting go that I had to do on my part. The mother in me would always want to repair what I felt was wrong, or to fill a gap, no one should be left feeling they are on the outside. It’s a lot of emotional work and responsibility that could go unnoticed unfortunately, especially for Bonus Moms of younger children. The power to love someone else’s child as your own can be a beautiful thing. Circumstances have never left an opening for actually meeting the mother of our oldest, but I definitely have respect for her, the boundaries, roles and matters that are not any of my business. It’s different when children are so much older, a lot of collaboration/ input isn’t needed. So instead of trying to fix the world, I recognize my role, and I’m good with that.
I have to say having the “perfect picture” in mind about how things will be, is a huge mistake. You often set yourself up for disappointment or could potentially put yourself in a position of being a habitual line stepper.
I really appreciated how Jada and her mother Adrienne highlighted that motherhood isn’t perfect, and even in the next generation of mothers grandmothers still play a very important role.
We live in a society where young girls like Willow question if we live in the kind of world they would even want to bring life into. If you’re anything like me, you’ve thought the same. Yet here we are.. doing the best that we can…
That was my takeaway, We do the best we can.. so to all the mothers out there… I co-sign that nothing is perfect. Do your best…. I’m looking forward to the next episode!